Akasha's Musings

2008-02-21T11:31:00.000-08:00

Never have I been happier to see the ass end of a year than I was 2007. Breathe a deep sigh of relief, it's over. Thank God.

I finally quit the job from hell. Problem being the one I went into is part time -- as in one day a week part time -- which they didn't tell me about until last week. Oy. So, I'm looking for another one, and will be out following up on a few things later today. I start my teacher training next Friday, which I'm really looking forward to. Yay!

One of the few things that went right last year was my voiceover workout group. My instructor's sarcastic as hell, as am I, so we take immense joy in tormenting each other. To the point that almost everyone else in class thinks we hate each other's guts. Hee! He was nice enough to walk my demo into his agent's office; though nothing came of it, I'm thankful he was willing to do it. One of the other guys from group is going to take my demo into his agent's office next week; I'm cautiously optimistic that it will work out. I have to put another mailing together, to send out to agents. I didn't move out here to be a waiter, damn it. But with all the crap I've gone through this last year, all I want to do is stay home and read. Which I've been doing a lot of this month, due to the one day a week job. Which means I need to get the hell out of here for a few hours. There's one job in particular that I'm hoping to get, because it's two nights a week and won't interfere with teaching. Between those two and the job I have now, I'll be golden, and still have days free to try to get voiceover work. Makes me happy. Maybe I should hold onto that thought until I actually get that job, or another one.

Y'all know I'm not a big TV watcher, but I do enjoy some shows. One of my new favorites is Take Home Chef, hosted by Curtis Stone, on TLC. Now, I live in SoCal, and I have never run into this guy. Ever. I see some of the places he goes, and I can't figure out where they are, because no shopping centers where I live, nor close by, have huge open parking lots. So, I don't know where he's picking people up. I did, however, recognize the Santa Monica Farmer's Market. I love that place, maybe I should put some effort into going over there more often. The restaurant biz being as incestuous as it is, I'm sure we have some acquaintances in common somewhere -- I just have to find one. How's that for one hell of a daydream, meeting a sexy Aussie chef?

Time for reality to rear its head, and for me to go bug those people about that job. I'm certainly qualified, maybe I'll get lucky. Here's hoping.

2006-12-13T22:58:00.000-08:00

This blogger is absolutely right. Where has courtesy gone? Manners? They must be in hiding on a remote island somewhere. Unfortunately, the holidays only make things worse. Ugh.

I'll post something worth reading in a day or two.

2006-10-22T19:56:00.000-07:00

My neighbors were fighting when I got home from work this afternoon. They were so loud, I could hear them throwing things, and their little girl (who's 2 or 3) screaming with my door closed. FYI, there's a hallway between our apartments. The fighting got bad enough that I called 911, though I always wonder if it's truly enough of an emergency to bother with it. They apparently didn't think so -- no one ever came. I sent an email to the police department to ask if they got the call from the 911 dispatcher.
It's 7:53pm right now, just shy of two hours since I called. No one has come yet.

The moral of this story is, don't get hurt in Los Angeles--no one will come to help you.

What a sad commentary on the state of this city.

2006-10-02T19:19:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Waiter Rant:

New Void Codes

1. Inanimate Foreign Matter in food. (Staples, twist ties, hair, plastic shards, nails)

2. Animate Foreign Matter in food.

3. Customer threw up above mentioned voided item.

4. HazMat substance in food. (Bleach, hypodermic, MSG, blood)

5. Customer saw a “la cucaracha.”

6. Customer had a medical emergency. (Stroke, overdose, choking, heart failure, got the check.)

7. Manager gave hot babe free stuff.

8. Fixing server fuckups.

9. Fixing my fuckups.

10. Entrée didn’t look like the picture in the window.

11. Entrée didn’t look like how Emeril would make it.

12. Customer’s watched way too much Food Network.

13. Customer allergic to main ingredient but didn’t tell waiter until after the food was cooked.

14. Customer decided restaurant was too expensive and left after ordering.

15. Customer had a psychotic break.

16. Customer’s an asshole. (My favorite - covers most situations)

17. Waiter had a psychotic break. (Imminent, trust me.)

18. Customer wouldn’t know the difference between medium rare and medium if it bit him on the ass.

19. Customer intoxicated/wasted and screwed up order.

19. Server intoxicated/wasted and screwed up order.

20. Chef intoxicated/wasted and screwed up order.

21. Everybody must get stoned!

21. Customer didn’t take medication this morning. (Prozac)

22. Server didn’t take medication this morning. (Marijuana)

23. Manager didn’t take medication this morning. (Jim Beam)

24. Everybody must get stoned!

24. Chef busy talking on cell phone and burned food.

25. Customer didn’t listen to waiter’s recommendations. (The “I told you so” void.)

26. Customer said the fish smelled “funny” after they put cheese on it.

27. Customer pulled a hissy fit over the split charge.

28. Customer found a “floater” in the ladies room toilet and freaked out.

29. Customer found waiter overdosed in toilet and freaked out. (Actually happened at my first waiter job!)

30. The “shut the customer the fuck up” void!

Ideas and suggestions for new void codes? Leave them in the comments section.

Go check the comments when you've a moment, there's some good stuff in there. :)

2006-09-19T17:49:00.000-07:00

My grandmother passed away this morning. Thankfully, I got to see her a couple of weeks ago.
I doubt I'll be going to the funeral, as taking time from work twice in one month is too much right now.

More in a couple of days.

2006-06-22T10:48:00.000-07:00

There's a man who comes in for lunch every so often, who really gets to me.

His wife will drop him off around noon, settle him at a table with a view of the dining room, then rush out the door while assuring us, "I'll be back. "

In her wake, we store his walker so it's out of his way, then bring him his extra hot coffee and a lunch menu.

None of us are sure how old he is, but it hardly matters. His speech is slurred, barely comprehensible. He repeats his order three times before I finally understand what he wants.

"Crab cakes."

He points at the listing on the menu. I feel foolish, even stupid, for not understanding; he doesn't seem to mind. When his lunch comes out, he decides he wants to sit in the other chair at the table; the move takes 10 minutes. The foodrunner brings his lunch back to the kitchen to be reheated.

The gentleman doesn't seem to mind, almost as if he's used to all this fuss by now. He eats his once-again-hot lunch and drinks his coffee.

Around 1:30 one of our managers offers him a newspaper, and he gladly requests the New York Times. By 2:30 he's done with it; I drop the check on the table.

At about 3:15, his wife shows up with a credit card to pay the bill. She signs the itemized check before I can remind her I need to run the credit card, a rather frequent occurrence in a hotel restaurant. In the time it takes to run the credit card and return with the check to the table, his wife is gone again, who knows where. Not that it matters.

It's 3:45 or so when I check on him with a manager. He's signed the check; his wife still hasn't come back.

He's been looking at his watch for two hours now.

We close the check in the back and I gather glassware to reset the tables. When I go back onto the floor I see his table is empty, nearly four hours after he was seated.

I wonder what kind of person would leave their spouse alone in a restaurant for four hours. He's such a sweet man, yet his wife has no compunctions whatsoever about taking off without him.

It enfuriates me.

I hope, if I ever marry, that in my old age my husband doesn't take me out to lunch -- and leave me there.

2006-06-21T05:17:00.000-07:00

The frustrating part of writing a book is when real life intrudes.

I'd love to be able to write all day today, but I can't -- I'll be spending the next 10 hours at work. Which means I'll be jotting down ideas in my little black notebook, which I'll have to sort through later.

There's one more frustrating part -- I write in longhand (and not so well without my glasses.). I have a better connection to the work, as it were, with pen and paper than with keyboard and laughable typing skills. The term "skills" used very loosely here. Which makes for much fun when the inevitable time comes to have to send the work to someone, or post a few paragraphs here. Maybe I should seriously consider spending a day working on learning typing skills. Wouldn't that be fun!!

A friend of mine is a former trial attorney who can type well over 100 words per minute. Thankfully, he doesn't hit me over the head with it. It's a skill I wouldn't mind learning though, because this "advanced hunt-and-peck" of mine is becoming rather irksome.

Off to work. Bleh.

2006-06-20T21:28:00.000-07:00

It's amazing, the atrocities committed on this planet. To see children with scars from machetes; a child barely old enough to walk with fingers missing; a three year old girl with her arms cut off; tens of thousands of women and girls brutally raped.

The things people do to each other is a constant source of amazement. I think Angelina Jolie was right to ask why nothing is being done about this lunacy. Why do we tolerate these monsters? Why is there continued tolerance for people like Joseph Kony? This person, I will not stoop so far as to call him human, goes from village to village, kidnapping children and brainwashing them to fight for his Lord's Resistance Army. How telling that he thinks he's doing what god told him to do. Why has this monster been allowed to continue for decades? Why is there no international outcry to put a stop to this, immediately?

I wish I knew. Perhaps, now that this has been aired again on CNN, the resultant scrutiny will bring about much needed changes.

We can all hope.

2006-06-15T13:02:00.000-07:00

I met Anderson Cooper the other day.

I like watching his show because he's smart, funny, and engaging, not to mention has zero tolerance for bullshit and posturing. The fact that he's also quite handsome is a lovely fringe benefit.

I bought his book, Dispatches From the Edge, due to the reasons above and because I like his writing in Details magazine.

The book is very well written; at once thought provoking and heartbreaking.

He came to Los Angeles for a signing at Book Soup, and I went with a friend from work. Not only is Anderson all of the things I stated above, in person, he is exquisitely beautiful. How one person got to be so blessed as to be that beautiful on the outside as well as the inside, I've no idea. But he is. I dream of one day finding someone like him, since my chances of actually catching him are next to zero. So I will continue to enjoy his work, and talk about it here from time to time.

Go check out his book. You'll be glad you did.

2006-06-15T12:54:00.000-07:00

Well kids, I've started a new business. I have finally admitted to myself that my continuing presence in the restaurant world is sucking my soul away. So, I've decided to give someting else a try.

No, I haven't quit my serving job -- yet.

The new business is a music-movie-game rental company called E3Flix. It's similar to Netflix in that you rent movies or whatever from them, they send it in the mail with a postage paid envelope to return the thing and all that. But they pay people like me commissions based on how many subscriptions I sell.

So if you would be so kind, take a gander at my website and if you're interested, sign up. If you think you'll be able to refer people, do yourself a favor and sign up under the "become an affiliate" link. That way, you get paid. :)

I have a lot of other things to write about, I just have to whittle it all down from my journals. :)

After I go to the gym.

2006-05-24T05:10:00.000-07:00

Book research has begun.

It started a couple of days ago, with an idea sent to me by Marius. It's funny, we both thought we were on the same page until I sent him some of my research and the paragraphs I'd written, at which point he tells me we're going in opposite directions. Not only are we going in opposite directions, but we've apparently switched gender roles as well -- I'm researching and trying to figure out how to make it work, and he's taking the metaphysical route. Too funny.

That notwithstanding, I think this will be a grand adventure for the both of us. I can't wait to see how it turns out! The frustrating part is having to put it all on hold and go to work for 10 hours. Yuck. But they're only scheduling me for four shifts, so that leaves three full days to play. I just need to remember to take a notebook with me to work to write down ideas before they take a flying leap out of my brain. :)

2006-05-23T08:47:00.000-07:00

I saw a car wreck on my way home from work the other day; the flashing lights of the ambulances and fire trucks a curiosity from afar.

As I drove closer, I could see a sliver of silver blue through the engines blocking half the road. There was a police officer directing traffic, trying to convince passers by to keep driving, keep walking, keep moving; don't stop, nothing to see here, go on about your business.

I couldn't see the cars until I was halfway through the intersection, and one of the ambulances roared away, sirens screaming over the din of radios and souped up engines.

There were two of them.

One was a compact or subcompact, maybe even a sedan -- it was impossible to tell which. I think it was upside down; the hood had been torn off, the front half of the vehicle unrecognizable. It lay crushed against the brick wall of a fence around someone's home, the wrought iron rods on top invisible.

The other was an SUV, also silver or light blue. It lay upside down, mangled beyond repair, on top of the iron bars of the fence. The front half shattered, dismembered; some in the street, some in a family's yard.

They must have been going fast to disintegrate that way, but I didn't see any skid marks on the asphalt, no evidence of any attempt to stop or slow down.

There was no mention of it in the paper or on the news, so I don't know if anyone survived.

I don't know how anyone could have.

2006-05-19T04:49:00.000-07:00

Late start today, I know. I'm having a bit of trouble deciding what to write about, and my little Nala cat is being cute and purry and cuddly. :) I need to get a friend for her; I took out a full length mirror yesterday, and she cuddled right up against it and purred, and was not too happy when I put it away again. *sigh* Poor little cat. So, I've decided to adopt the next little stray I find. I just hope I don't find them in the engine compartment of my car like I did last time.

One month to go until classes start at UCLA. I'm really looking forward to it. Part of me feels like I should have done this a long time ago, and the other realizes that everything happens when it's supposed to. Hopefully this will lead to something good. At the very least, it will be time set aside to write every day.

Time to go to work. More later.

2006-05-17T04:41:00.000-07:00

Back to O'Dark Thirty blogging. :)

I got the confirmation email from ucla extension this morning, I got into both courses I'd signed up for. Yay! I start in June. I am really looking forward to this. Maybe this will be a better path for me than acting, who knows. All I know at the moment is that I cannot stay where I am without losing my mind. I do not want to be a waiter for the rest of my life, thanks. So, I'm taking a break from acting, and doing something else for a while.

And studying for the damn GRE. I don't know how many of you reading this (is anybody except Marius reading this?) have taken or plan on taking that test, but it's $130 each time you take it. Ouch!! They sure do getcha there, don't they. Mayhap they want to ensure you're serious and not just screwing around? I don't care, $130 is still a lot of money to take a test.

I can't say I'm excited by the necessity of going to work today, but since there are bills to be paid, I must. Whee.

2006-05-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

Heh heh.

Just sharing the juvenile humor.

2006-05-16T15:34:00.000-07:00

I signed up for two classes today, through the extension program at UCLA. One is a two day workshop on writing personal essays, the other a full six week summer class about fiction writing. I'm just waiting for the email confirmation of my registration. The website listed both courses as open, so I should be fine. If not. . . well, I'll pick another class.

I don't know if the credits will transfer when I apply for the MFA program, but it doesn't matter. What matters is time set aside solely for the purpose of writing, building my skills, and work for submission for publication. Not to mention, getting used to a university environment again.

Today started out on a blah note, but turned out to be not so bad. Good stuff.

Oh. Start dates. The first class starts June 24th, the second, June 27th.

I sent a letter to the union today, requesting Honorable Withdrawal status. Which keeps everybody happy, and I don't pay dues, as I won't be seeking acting work during that time. Then when I get an acting job, I notify the union, pay my base dues, and I'm back in business. Good stuff.

Now, I'm off to the grocery store. I'll try not to cause a ruckus. :)

2006-05-15T07:17:00.000-07:00

The last two days were too long. 10 and 11 hours , on my feet from six to four or six to five. I can't wait until I don't have to do this any more.

A co-worker suggested I apply for internships at TV stations, but I don't think that's what I want to do. I'd rather be able to write all day. Or act, especially seeing as how that's what I came out here to do. Maybe one will lead to the other, who knows. I just hate sitting here, watching my life fly by, as I waste it in a restaurant. There has to be more than this, there has to be. I don't mind hard work, but I do mind going nowhere. If I wanted to continue in this field that I'm currently in, I'd be set -- it's one of the best in the world. But none of that matters when you wither away, little by little, every day.

I'm working on writing samples for my application for grad school, studying for the GRE, and looking for financial aid opportunitites. The school I'm planning to apply for has an excellent assistantship program, but when I called to ask about it, the lady in charge of the department told me that I basically have no chance at getting an assistantship, because I'll be competeing with people from Yale and Stanford and the like. Suckola. I told that to a girl I work with, and she was furious -- how dare they say that to people? Just because you don't have the money for an Ivy League school doesn't mean you won't be good in your chosen field. So, here's hoping I can do enough work, and strong enough work, and score well enough on the GRE, to give myself a leg up on the Ivy league rich kids. That sounds so petty, but there you are.

And the fucking kitchen sink still backs up whenever I use it.

God dammit.

The manager will be in at nine, so I'll be calling him then. If I could afford to move, I'd be out of here.

Maybe I'll post something happy later, after I get home from my meeting with the GM. :)

2006-05-12T04:46:00.000-07:00

A bit of a late start today, so I'll have to type quickly. Hah! Not with my hunt and peck typing "skills." :)

Speaking of which, I should really learn to be a better typist, as it would help me with my writing. Anybody know where/how I would go about learning how to touch-type?

I went through my backpack from college the other day. Surprisingly, there wasn't much in it in terms of usable material. The extra notebook paper will certainly come in handy, though. I thought I'd kept all of my writing that I did during my undergrad, and now that I need it, I don't have it. Mom has agreed to go through my room this weekend and see what she can find. I hope at least the work from my writing class turns up; I did some really good work that semester. But any of my work from that renaissance French literature class I took would be fine, too. :) I'll also be writing a lot of new material. I went through some old journals yesterday, and it's been two years to the day since I wrote in the newest one. That's fixed. :) If nothing else, they should yield some good material for essays.

I mentioned last week that I'm learning Persian, a co-worker is teaching me. I thought it may be helpful to have a book to go through on my own, as one phrase a day takes forever. I ordered a set online, complete with cassettes and cd-rom's. I'm planning on going through that a bit tonight.

Also, there are a couple of workshops down in Venice next week that I want to go to, so I'm going to try to make those. I just wish they were closer; Venice is 20 miles from my house, which translates to two hours in L.A. traffic. :P The workshops start at 8pm though, so maybe that's late enough that it'll only take me an hour. Those of you who've never been here to La La Land think I'm kidding. Unfortunately, I'm not. Ask my mom, she'll tell you. :) As my public service announcement for the day, if any of you decide to head out this way, get a good street map, like a Thomas' Guide, and get comfortable with surface streets. The freeways out here are uselsss because there's so much traffic; surface streets will get you almost anywhere more quickly.

I read an outstanding essay yesterday about a woman's trip to Italy; I'll find it and post a link when I get home from work. It made me wish I'd taken notes during my trip to Holland a few years ago. I guess I'll just have to try to go back sometime in the near future. But this time, I'm going when it's warm, not 15 degrees outside. :)

Thank you so much to all of you who have offered to write letters of recommendation and reference for my graduate school application; I appreciate it more than I can say. Just be prepared for those updated writing samples in your inbox in a few weeks. I've some time before the application is due, and I plan on taking full advantage of it.

Well, that's it for this early a.m. blog session, now I must get ready for work.

2006-05-10T05:20:00.000-07:00

The decision has been made.

I'm going to apply for graduate school.

I came to this somewhat terrifying conclusion yesterday while on the phone with some wonderful people at USC. The program I'm planning on applying for is well respected, yet doesn't have 30 million applicants per semester, so my chances are better.

The first upcoming deadline is July 1st, which I sincerely doubt I'll make. I'll try, but I think it's too much too quickly, what with gathering writing samples and letters of recommendation and such. Especially when trying to track down professors.

Did I mention the GRE?

Oh, yes.

That which strikes terror into the heart of all prospective graduate students, myself included. I was chatting with my dear friend Marius yesterday, and we agreed that it's mind boggling how much you forget between your undergrad and grad years. This was preceded by a practice GRE test I took, or a fraction of one, just to see what it was like. Yikes!! I used to have an enviable vocabulary. Sadly, that seems to no longer be the case. Rest assured, I'll be spending copious amounts of time rebuilding said enviable vocabulary. (Speaking of which, this book is great: Rare Words and ways to master their meanings.)

One other portion to the GRE that terrifies myriad others: the dreaded math section. Pretend you're hearing the theme song from JAWS for a second or two. This section would be fine if more of us had need of upper level math. My father, who is an aeronautical engineer, would be one of those people, as would my cousin, who's a nuclear physicist. But me? Surely you jest! I barely made it through geometry. I did great in algebra until they started adding fractions and square roots. Screwed me up completely. There's just too much going on, no more nice, neat columns. So if you happen to hear a scream of absolute frustration, that would be me working through the math portion of my new study book, Cracking the GRE. If the internet suddenly goes more wonky than normal, that would be me working on the math portion at the GRE home site.

As if all that isn't frustrating enough, I have to pay them $130 US for the pain of taking their exam. The minimum score required by the University to which I'm applying is 1000.

Good God.

My mom told me to "hurry up and get busy" when I told her about the July 1st deadline. Perhaps it's been too long since she took the GRE. Heh. I'll be studying until August, because I honestly don't remember any math from college except that which I use on a daily basis. I have no need for anything else.

The other thing I have to work on is getting an assistantship through the department. Those are good for a full tuition waiver and an $1,800 per month stipend. For ten months, not the full 12, but you can't be too fussy when they give you that much. If I manage to land one of those, I'll be teaching undergraduate writing.

Could you stop the planet, please?

I'd like to get off.

2006-05-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

What do you say about your friends?

Only a handful carry that title in my universe, and I see them far too seldom.

A few years ago, I managed to track down an old friend, one I've known since we were 11. We're both coming up on 31, so we've been around the proverbial block a few times. The last time I was home for Christmas, I stopped by his house with my mom and my sister to visit with my friend and his mother, and to meet his fiancee. All seemed well, though our visit was far too short. Isn't that always the way when visiting old friends? Too bad, that.

A couple of months later, and then again last week (which is what brings me to this post, as I've been mulling over it for a while) my mom reminded me of that visit, and asked me what my impression had been of my friend's fiance, now wife and mother of their adorable one year old. (how's that for a run-on? lol.)

I said she'd seemed nice, they seemed very happy, I was happy for them, but other than that, nothing specific. Why?

Then she tells me that she got a really strange vibe from her, very hostile towards me. That said, that one visit is the first and only time we've met, so we're not what you could even term acquaintances.

I told mom that I didn't get that vibe, but I do recall she didn't seem overly enthusiastic to have me there, or that I knew my friend's family, or that we laughed about shared childhood mishaps. Like our first "date", at 12, when my mom took us to the new mall, and his mom picked us up -- with, unbeknownst to her, his father's 357 magnum on the backseat. Oops. :) That's always a fun trip down memory lane.

Anyway. I finally got a cell phone manufactured within recent memory, and sent an email to my friends an family to tell them to scratch the old one.

No response.

I haven't received an email from him in months, which is odd, and I noticed last week that his MySpace page is gone. Hm. Could be he got bored with that admittedly juvenile, yet fun, waste of time. Could be he's just busy and doesn't have time for email any more.

Could be.

I hate to think I may have lost a friend I've had for over 20 years because his wife feels threatened by my existence.

I hope I'm never that insecure and jealous over someone who lives on the other side of the country.

I really hope to hear from my friend soon, and that I'm overreacting.

I hope.

2006-05-07T21:40:00.000-07:00

Oy vey.

My kitchen sink backed up and overflowed everywhere this afternoon. What a total pain in the ass. The frustrating part is that it's got nothing to do with me -- my apartment is on the ground floor, so I get all the crap through my pipes. Even worse, this is the fourth time this has happened.

No, I'm not kidding; I wish I were.

At least today I was home, and able to get a hold of the building manager, and he found someone to snake the drain.

Again.

That gurgling sound out of nowhere is never good, certainly not when the resultant flood of dirty drain water soaks 3/4 of the carpeting in your house. Funny how they never want to replace said carpeting, isn't it.

And to think I spent two years wondering why I was getting sick all the time.

Duh.

If it happens again, screw it, I'm moving. I guess I should start saving up, because this time I won't be able to do it with just me and my car -- I'll have to hire movers. :P

Oh well.

Laundry time, more later.

2006-05-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

Marius, Marius, Marius. Whatever am I going to do with you?

The cheerleader story isn't nearly as exciting as you're likely imagining it to be. For one, I was a baby -- around 5 or so. Had to be, because my sister and I were still at the Benjamin school. Good Lord, that was a long time ago!

Anyway. For some long since forgotten reason, I'd decided I wanted to be a cheerleader. I loved the pom poms and the cheers and the jumps, which I fancied myself quite good at. The reality was undoubtedly disappointing, but as I'm not the one who had to watch it, I wouldn't know.

We were at home getting ready to go to a game, and I had the sinking feeling that I was forgetting something. I couldn't imagine what that something could possibly be. We were all piled in the car when it hit me.

I'd forgotten my bloomers.

Oops.

I knew it, sitting in the car in the garage, knew it the entire way to school, felt it through the entire game, until it was my turn to cheer. I tried not to jump so high. . . to no avail. No matching yellow bloomers. Substitute white with little blue flowers.

My mom was mortified, though not nearly so much as I; to this day I wonder why I didn't say something while we were in the car at home.

One of life's little mysteries, I guess.

So, that's the cheerleader story.

If you behave yourself, tomorrow I'll tell you about the time I forged my mom's signature.

:D

2006-05-06T04:18:00.000-07:00

I wish I had an hour to write like I did yesterday, but I only have 15 minutes as I have to be at work at 6am.

I'm still tossing around ideas for a book. I've wanted to write one since I was little, I just didn't know how to go about it. Now, I can't decide where to start, and my subject requires rather extensive research as I know absolutely nothing about a substantial part of it. It's a good excuse to learn something new, though.

Yesterday I mentioned I'm learning Persian. A co-worker from Iran is teaching me, and I'm sure having quite a laugh at my butchered pronounciations. That's all right though, he can laugh if he wants. I'll get it one of these days.
I decided it may behoove me to get a book on the language, so I looked up a few texts used for university courses. They're frustratingly difficult to find, though I did locate some at UCLA. I was all excited, thinking I'd found some great sources, when I checked Amazon and found they got not-so-great reviews from people who'd used them. Which doesn't mean I won't find them useful, but it would be nice to find a really good one, or more if need be. I'm open to suggestions from my myriad readers who've studied Persian, and therefore may be able to give me some guidance in the matter. :)

And that is my rather dull post for the day. However, since I'm off tomorrow, perhaps I'll be able to come up with something more substantial; something from my cheerleading days, which will be hysterical to those of you who know me.

2006-05-05T04:36:00.000-07:00

I'm trying something new -- posting in the morning before work, as by the time I get home all I want to do is pretend to be a vegetable. That said, it's 4.30 am, and here I am, typing away.

I've finally found my brain and started keeping a notebook with me. I've filled four pages with ideas and such; some may find their way into this blog, some may be saved for a future article, some may be saved for the book I'm considering. We shall see. At any rate, it should mean posts more often than once a month, which will be a good thing.

I moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career as an actress. Perhaps it was sheer folly, but you never know until you try. Needless to say, in the whole "Hollywood" scheme of things, I'm on no one's radar, have recieved many an offer of extra work, and am rather fed up with the whole thing. Extra work, I've done it -- but if you do too much of it you get stuck in it, as people here in La La Land don't like to use their brains, and will not see you as anything but an extra. For those of you unacquainted with Hollywood jargon, an extra is the person in the background whom you see, but don't hear. In years past, those were termed "bit parts" and could, at some point, lead to speaking roles and such. No longer is this the case, and with over 100,000 people in Los Angeles with the same dream, getting lost in the shuffle is more often the order of the day than not. No, I am not about to make myself look like an ass solely for the purpose of getting attention -- I don't need it quite that badly, thanks.

In addition, have you seen the "women" on TV lately? They look about 16, their bodies starved and exercised down to skin and bone. Not for me, thanks; I went through my starvation phase in college. Thankfully I found my senses and realized how idiotic it was to starve myself so that some idiot would think I was pretty and worthy of a job. Fuck that.

I suppose this was a rather roundabout way of saying I'm over it. The institutionalized insecurity (thank you, Viggo Mortensen, for that phrase), the insanity of the expectation of appearing to be all of 12 years old, constantly being asked to take your clothes off, having to pay casting directors if you want an audition -- which has Billy DaMota in absolute fits. Look him up on MySpace, he posted his interview with 20/20 a while back.

The most frustrating part, at least from my perspective, is that it isn't personal. On one hand, that makes it easier to take the constant rejection. Your "look" just isn't what they're looking for, your work has nothing to do with it. On the other hand, if it were personal, you could take a class, get new headshots, do a new play, do something to improve your skills that would help you succeed. But none of that matters. It doesn't matter how good you are, it doesn't matter how hard you work. It's a constant reiteration that what you are isn't good enough. Unless, of course, you happen to come from a famous Hollywood family, and someone in said family will give you a job, or call directors for you. It will never be said that nepotism isn't alive and well in this town -- sometimes I think that's the only way to succeed out here.

Anyway, I'm over it. If acting happens to work out for me, great -- but I'm not going to be spending every waking moment on it any more. I'd prefer to concentrate on something I have a chance at success doing. Ergo, writing.

This blog is an experiment of sorts, to help me hone skills gone rusty with years of disuse, and to get back into the habit of writing every day. If it goes reasonably well, I'll be applying for graduate school next fall, which should be interesting. I should probably send an email to my writing prof from college, and see if he remembers me and my work well enough to write a letter of recommendation. One more item on the "To Do" list.

Oh, and I'm learning Persian. :) Khoda hafez!

2006-04-28T21:41:00.000-07:00

I know, I know.

My first new post in a month, already. Time flies when you're getting acclimated to a new job.
Speaking of which, it's going well. Good stuff.

I have a few blog posts arranging themselves in my head, and I'll try to get them all posted by Monday. Hopefully, I'll be able to get that done. I'm also tossing around ideas for a book. I've wanted to write one since I learned how to hold a pencil, and now I'm finally going over it. I just have to decide where to start. Hm.

In other news, tomorrow I'm going to the L.A. Times Book Festival at UCLA. I am really looking forward to it, and the panel lectures and discussions I'm planning to attend. One especially has peaked my interest, about the middle east. Reza Aslan is scheduled to be part of the panel, which should be great. I'm working my way through his book, No God But God, and I always enjoy seeing him on CNN. I love people who can have an argument or spirited discussion without resorting to screaming, yelling, interrupting, and other such nonsense. What I know about the situations in the middle east wouldn't fill a thimble, so this will be a great opportunity to learn. Not to mention, an excuse to buy more books. Like I need those anymore. Ha!

Onward!

There are marches scheduled for Monday throughout Los Angeles. The whole immigration debate is becoming tiresome. Admittedly, our system, and I use the term loosely, needs to be reworked. However, that does not excuse the exorbitant number of illegals currently residing here. Dear old Shrub is fond of saying they do jobs Americans won't do. No, Dear Shrub, that is incorrect. Americans will, and do, do those jobs -- but we draw the line at less than minimum wage and slophouse working conditions. Irksome, I know, but there you are.

Anyway.

I think some of the more vocal immigration proponents are forgetting one vital piece of information with regards to this whole brouhaha -- no one is upset about immigration, nor is anyone upset about people wanting to live here. What many people object to, myself included, is illegal immigration. We simply do not have the resources to support the entire populations of certain countries in the central and southern Americas. We don't have the resources to take care of our own citizens! 46 million, including me, with no health insurance and therefore no access to quality medical care, is a disgrace. But I digress. We cannot allow our country to be turned into Little Mexico. If you want to come here, fine -- but do it legally! Yes, you have to follow our laws. No, you do not get preferential treatment above someone else who has been working and doing things the right way just because you holler about immigrants' rights. We cannot allow any sort of blanket amnesty for illegals. Ronald Reagan did it, and it dodn't work. Why in the world would Shrub think it will work this time around? This whole "amnesty" crap cannot be allowed. It is a slap in the face to every single person who has ever come to this country legally.

Anderson Cooper will be in L.A. covering the whole mess on his show at least through Tuesday, so check it out if you can. 10pm est on CNN. Also keep an eye out for his new book, Dispatches From the Edge, scheduled to be released in May, and signings to follow.

And on that note, I have to get some sleep before getting up for work at 4am. More tomorrow. Perhaps it will even be coherent. :)

2006-03-21T07:24:00.000-08:00

I AM ARE YOU

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I
wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn?t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

repost this if you belive homophobia is wrong

I am the man who cries for all the people above me
Because I do not judge them and they are all peaceful
people made by the real GOD that loves them all....

GOD LOVES ALL HE MADE ALL SO STOP THINKING THAT YOU KNOW WHAT GOD WANTS AND LET PEOPLE LIVE....

Amen.
Borrowed from Marius over at the Corner.

I'd just like to add that there isn't enough love in this world, and to condemn someone for loving or being loved is not a right anyone on this earth has. In addition, God does not judge. Judgement, vengefulness, hatred, spite, jealousy -- those qualities are human, NOT divine.

2006-02-28T06:20:00.000-08:00

Job Hunting.

Well kids, the proverbial shit has hit the fan, and I'm looking for a new job.

I have a voiceover demo that will be done on Wednesday, so there's that, but as it's acting related, counting on it is too terrifying to fathom.

Not to mention how blatantly idiotic that would be.

I do have an interview at a temp agency, and I'm far from stupid, so that should yield something.

All the same, I'm open to suggestions for the college educated.

2006-02-25T18:22:00.000-08:00

Ugh.

Why is it, when you work in customer service, people feel it's okay to call in and say you did things you didn't do?

Things that put your job in jeopardy?

Do they think it's funny?

A joke?

Do they feel better now because they have enough power to get someone fired?

Writing as someone on the bad end of this one, I can tell you, it ain't great. The problem is that most businesses assume the "customer is always right" (what crap) and don't take the worker's position into account.

For example. Someone says they waited for 10 minutes to be acknowledged. Um, no. Don't think so. Not when I walk by you every five seconds.

I sincerely hope when the boss gets a hold of these people, he realizes they just want something for free and refuses to accomodate them.

I'm not holding my breath.

But I've been wrong before, and maybe I'm wrong this time as well. Who knows. But having your boss call you and tell you not to come in to work really sucks. Beyond that, it's scary. If I didn't need a job, I wouldn't have one. I wish I didn't need one. C'est la vie.

I really hope some work in my chosen field materializes soon, because I can't take much more of this.

There.

I admitted it.

Done.

sigh. . . I wish.

From my fingertips to God's eyes and ears -- please let my chosen field yield paying work so I can quit this other stuff that's smothering me!

We'll see, but I'm hopeful. Something has to happen soon.

I'll post something intelligent and worth reading in a bit.

2006-02-24T09:42:00.000-08:00

You know, I think they may be on to something.

I borrowed this little gem from my dear friend Marius over at Marius' Corner. :)

Have you been as confused as I have, about what exactly is being said in Washington? Now, finally, we get the help we need...

A Dictionary for Republicanisms

alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil.
[Peter Scholz, Fort Collins, CO]

bankruptcy n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations.
[Beth Thielen, Studio City, Calif.]

"burning bush" n. A biblical allusion to the response of the President of the United States.
When asked a question by a journalist who has not been paid to inquire.
[Bill Moyers, New York, NY]

Cheney, Dick n. The greater of two evils.
[Jacob McCullar, Austin, Tex.]

class warfare n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.
[Don Zweir, Grayslake, Ill.]

climate change n. The blessed day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.
[Ann Klopp, Princeton, NJ]

compassionate conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy
(Lawrence Sandek, Twin Peaks, Calif.]

creationism n. Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental
[Brian Sweeney, Providence, RI].

DeLay, Tom n. 1. Past tense of De Lie
[Rick Rodstrom, Los Angeles, Calif.].
2. Patronage saint
[Andrew Magni, Nonatum, Mass.].

extraordinary rendition n.! Outsourcing torture
[Milton Feldon, Laguna Woods, Calif.].

faith n. The stubborn belief that God approves of Republican moral values despite the preponderance of textual evidence to the contrary
[Matthew Polly, Topeka, Kans.].

free markets n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense
[Sean O'Brian, Chicago, Ill.].

girly men n. Males who do not grope women inappropriately
[Nick Gill, Newton, Mass.].

God n. Senior presidential adviser
[Martin Richard, Belgrade, Mont.].

growth n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich.
2. What happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich
(Matthew Polly, Topeka, Kans.].

healthy forest n. No tree left behind
[Dan McWilliams, Santa Barbara, Calif.].

honesty n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Freedom is on the march"
[Katrina vanden Heuvel, New York, NY].

House of Representatives n. Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5 million (See Senate)
[Adam Hochschild, San Francisco, Calif.].

laziness n. When the poor are not working
[Justin Rezzonico, Keene, Ohio].

leisure time n. When the wealthy are not working
[Justin Rezzonico, Keene, Ohio].

liberal(s) n. Followers of the Antichrist
[Ann Wegher, Montello, Wisc.].

No Child Left Behind riff. 1. v. There are always jobs in the military
[Ann Klopp, Princeton, NJ].
2. n. The rapture
[Samantha Hess, Cottonwood, Ariz.]

ownership society n. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth
[Michael Albert, Piscataway, NJ].

Patriot Act n. 1. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first.
2. The elimination of one of the reasons why they hate us
[Michael Thomas, Socorro, NM].

pro-life adj. Valuing human life up until birth
[Kevin Weaver, San Francisco, Calif.].

Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million
[Adam Hochschild, San Francisco, Calif.].

simplify v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors
[Katrina vanden Heuvel, New York, NY].

staying the course interj. Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid thing over and over, regardless of the result
[Suzanne Smith, Ann Arbor, Mich.].

stuff happens interj. Slang. Donald Rumsfeld as master historian
[Sheila and Chalmers Johnson, San Diego, Calif.].

voter fraud n. A significant minority turnout
[Sue Bazy, Philadelphia, Pa.].

woman n. 1. Person who can be trusted to bear a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have the child.
2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place
[Denise Clay, Philadelphia, Pa.].

2006-02-12T13:42:00.000-08:00

Beyond a National Disgrace.

Unbelievable. Read this article at the Huffington Post blog.

Some bastard has ordered the National Guard to help the New Orleans Police evict Katrina evacuees from their hotel rooms. According to one guard member quoted in the article, these people weren't even allowed to collect their belongings. They're being herded onto a train to. . . where?! Well, maybe it's a train, maybe it's buses, but does it matter? Is this the United States of America? I want to know who authorized this travesty. Then I want that person's resignation, post haste, and said person in a courtroom.

To say this is disgraceful does not do it justice.

I sent an email regarding this to CNN, here's hoping they blow this mess clear out of the water.

Editing to add that lawsuits have been filed to stop the evictions. That's a step -- but I still want to know what idiot authorized it in the first place.

2006-02-04T12:03:00.000-08:00

I'm new at this blog thing, so y'all will have to be patient with me. :)

I'm collecting applications for graduate school next year. Technically it'll be for the year after, since I've missed this year's cutoff date. I'm still deciding what and where. Writing? Acting? Try journalism again? Stay in L.A.? Try for Yale? I guess it's a good thing I still have a year to get things in order before applications will come due.

What I'm sure of is I don't want to stay where I am at the moment. Nothing wrong with it, it's just not what I want to do for any length of time, and I've been doing it long enough. So, I've decided to branch out from stage and on camera to voice over. A friend of mine is going to put together a demo for me, and has already been an immense help. With any luck, my voice will be marketable and sell well, and I'll be able to really afford to entertain the idea of graduate school. Should make for an interesting year.

I'm going to keep this little blog of mine low on the radar for a bit, as I'm not sure I want my real name and/or likeness floating about just yet. That may change, we'll have to wait and see how things pan out.

In keeping with the backward theme of this little post of mine, I'll let you in on a bit about li'l `ol me. As you've no doubt deduced by this point, I'm trying to eke out a career as an actor. I prefer theatre to on camera, which does indeed beg the question,

"What are you doing in L.A.?"

Finances. Pure and simple. New York, despite the presence of myriad theatres and the oh-so-talented and handsome Anderson Cooper(love the snarky humor even more), remains out of reach. I thought rent in L.A. was ridiculous, it's even worse in NYC. And it gets bloody cold there! Anything under 75, I need a sweater. Sad, I know. But I digress.

I love to read, anything I can get my hands on. I have about 1,000 books in my apartment, not including what I have stashed at my parents' house, and counting. I'm not a big TV watcher
(I know, I know), but I like Law and Order, especially SVU, Criminal Minds, CSI, Commander in Chief, National Geographic (they have their own channel now -- oh, happy day!), TLC, Discovery (when it's not some crap about sports or cars), Animal Planet, History, Bravo. I'm also a CNN junkie, and if I ever have the TV on for an extended period of time, chances are that's what I'm watching. Despite my fondness for the aforementioned Mr. Cooper, I rarely get to see his program. I work nights, and the west coast re-airing starts too early for me to catch it. Oh well. I should be in bed by that time anyway.

I welcome your comments, though it'd be nice if they'd stay on the sane side. If not sane, then intelligent, with a point and/or a well rounded argument. Otherwise, you get the delete key. :)